I don’t know what it’s about bikes and espresso machines that engenders the necessity to cross-pollinate, but it surely’s very actual. We’ve seen motorcycle-themed cafes, espresso machines on the facet of bikes, even espresso machines made out of motorbike engines. However this newest entry into the espresso-motorcycle canon is one thing far dumber.

Motorbike maker Ducati has simply made their very own $3,000 espresso machine, and it solely works with pods.

As reported by Yahoo, it’s referred to as the Barista M3 1926 Restricted Version and it was made in collaboration with Switzerland’s Delicacies Barista. It combines technological developments not usually afforded pod-based espresso machines with the glossy design of Ducati. Put one other approach, it’s an exquisite mess. Restricted to a run of simply 1,926 machines, the black espresso machine incorporates a glowing purple again panel with “Ducati” written throughout it and carbon fiber paneling all through. It’s touted because the “world’s solely carbon-fiber capsule machine.” It’s a very glossy wanting machine.

The portafilter-less espresso maker permits customers to pick out brew temperature, taste profile (mild, normal, and powerful), and pre-infusion settings, which is the precise stage of management most speed- and convenience-focused pod machine customers covet. It additionally has not one however two methods to steam milk as a result of why not. There’s the standard steam wand sometimes seen on espresso machine. Then there’s one thing they’re calling “the world’s first in-cup milk frother.” Utilizing the supplied metal to-go cup, customers add milk after which put it within the cupholder-type house on the highest. The machine will then use warmth induction and a frother to whip the milk into your required foaminess, from sizzling foam, each sizzling or dense, to chilly foam.

There’s additionally an app as a result of the whole lot has to have an app.

All of which is to say, it is not sensible. Or slightly, the sense that it makes is the “more cash than…” selection. It is a $3,000 espresso machine we’re speaking about right here, and it solely makes use of espresso pods. You need to drink pods for his or her comfort, be my visitor. However in case you really care in regards to the high quality of the espresso you might be consuming—sufficient to drop three grand on a machine—then maybe you’ve outgrown the convenience-over-everything philosophy of espresso brewing.

It’s arduous to explain the precise type of uncanny valley of cash vs. style/privilege vs. data that it could require to place a Barista M3 1926 Restricted Version in your counter. Certainly, the various similes and metaphors implied by the wedding of Ducatti know-how, its $3,000 price ticket, and the requirement of solely utilizing espresso pods in your model new piece of drugs has run roughshod over our editorial processes for the final a number of days. And so, listed below are only a handful of analogies to maybe higher clarify what the hell precisely is happening right here.

It’s a Bugatti however the engine is a Fisher Worth Go Go Powerwheel.
It’s a digital Patik Phillippe.
It’s like selvedge denim from Shein.
It’s shopping for a Faberge Egg and asking for under the whites.
It’s like mixing your Springbank 40 12 months with a Coke Zero.
It’s like consuming Domaine de la Romanée-Conti out of a paper cup.
It’s like watching an IMAX Twin 4K Laser GT 12 channel encompass sound screening of Minions: The Rise of Gru.
It’s a courtside seat to look at a November contest between the Sacramento Kings and the Utah Jazz.
It’s a time machine pre-programmed to solely go to the 12 months 2020.
It’s a California King full of bedbugs.
It’s pre-ground nanolot Gesha.

Zac Cadwalader is the managing editor at Sprudge Media Community and a employees author based mostly in Dallas. Learn extra Zac Cadwalader on Sprudge.